In order to prevent both terrorists from obtaining detailed plans of public spaces and copyright theft, eidetic memories have been outlawed. A prominent Washington politician has been quoted as saying "Those who have eidetic memories are evil-doers, no American should be able to have nearly photographic recall. These people can take pictures without a camera. They can steal movies and photographs without any apparent effort. Their very difference from ordinary Americans are damning evidence of their nefarious culpability."
It took the congress and the senate very little time to arrive at a punishment for those with photographic memory capabilities: "Those with eidetic memories must nibble on lead paint in one of our detention facilities. Furthermore, they must also handle loose mercury. They shall also be subjected to Fox News continuously for the duration of their detention. These punishments shall be meted until the individual's extraordinary talent has been effectively effaced."
In an unrelated story, standardized test scores from around America have mysteriously dropped even more.
References that inspired the above satire:
No more smart phones
These are the camps they will be taken to.
This is the stand real Americans take.
Your behavior must be proper.
You will be taken for being suspicious
You may only take pictures in allowed areas.
The allowable places to take photographs will slowly shrink.
Do not exhibit curiosity or wonder.
No comments:
Post a Comment